Monday, February 27, 2012

Thoroughly Disgusted

I own a cleaning and concierge business and every now and then I have to step in and clean when an employee is out. Today was a traumatizing day.

We went to a two bedroom apartment to do a move-out clean. Well actually, the tenants were sub-leasing and the new tenants are going to move in tomorrow. I walk into the apartment and immediately wondered if I was cleaning up after some HUGE hamsters because there was shredded paper EVERYWHERE.....all over the floor in every room. Seriously, like they put it down to sleep on it or something.

I started in the kitchen - it took TWO HOURS!!!! All of the cabinets and cupboards were empty; well, except for the hair, stuck-on food, something that looked like the orange sand you see in sandboxes and sesame seeds.......IN EVERY SINGLE CABINET AND CUPBOARD - and in one cabinet I got to clean what looked like an entire spilled bottle of honey mixed with sesame seeds. I mean, who eats that many sesame seeds? Was the Hamburglar hiding somewhere? Plus, they use a lot of Turmeric.....and so there were yellow stains everywhere. It's like she opened up every container of food or spice she owned and just dumped it into her cabinets and drawers.

The stove was covered in a couple of layers of cooked oil, burnt rice and hair. That was fun. She looked at my face (I do not have a poker face and I am SURE I looked disgusted) and she said "how often should I clean my stove? Once a month?" REALLY LADY????? I said "if you cook every day, then you should wipe it down every day".....she looked at me so surprised and like I was crazy. Clearly....I'm the crazy one.

The best/worst part of the kitchen was the fridge. It too was empty, except for what looked like grass, gardening dirt, some red sticky stuff, of-course sesame seeds and...wait for it.....wait for it.....2 DEAD FLIES! I looked at the lady and said "you do realize flies have been in hibernation since the middle of October....right?" WHO HAS DEAD FLIES IN THEIR REFRIGERATOR?????? And then I thought maybe they eat them. I mean, why else would they be in her fridge?

I found out that they have lived in this apartment for 3 years; the couple, their two small kids and her parents. I realized that they have NEVER cleaned any part of the apartment and I came to the conclusion that they must have lived in the desert before this because there was sand everywhere. She also asked me what should she do when her kitchen sink overflows. She said it overflows every time she does dishes. I told her to turn off the water once the sink was full. Again, she looked surprised.

So then I moved into the bathroom - please stop reading if you have a weak stomach because this is going to get graphic. I walked into the master bathroom and let out a small shriek. The tub looked like it had not been cleaned EVER and like they take mud baths and never drain it. I am not even exaggerating. HAIR everywhere, red dots stuck on the door frames and again with the honey and sesame concoction...... ALL OVER THE WALLS. I didn't even want to imagine how the (blank) that got there. The toilet was covered in dried urine. I triple gloved my hands and put a mask on. Urine was all over the floor and the wall behind the toilet too. Like......can't this man see where he's going?????? He just aimed in the general direction I guess. And maybe she stood up when she peed - I mean I wouldn't put anything past this group of people.

BUT.....it gets better! My poor, poor employee who had to clean the other bathroom (I guess the parents and kids used this bathroom) looked like someone had explosive diarrhea - many times. It was down the outside of the toilet, on the side of the tub, on the walls and the vanity. I almost threw up and actually gagged a couple of times. It had been there a while...make no mistake about that. The tub had a black ring around it as thick as tar. It was unbelievable and I couldn't believe that people actually lived like this...with CHILDREN! How did they bathe them? Did they stand and hold them? Maybe they just rubbed some dirt or sand on them and called it a day.

The rest of the home was filled with shredded paper, sand and colored paperclips......everywhere. When I take a deep breath I can still smell and taste the cleaning supplies we used today. I would've rather set the place on fire - but sand doesn't catch on fire. She asked me if we would come and clean her new town home. HAHAHAHAHA.......yah, maybe if I invest in some Hazmat suits and gas masks. I'm pretty traumatized by the whole thing and just can't believe people live in such filth. Don't call us, we'll call you!

1 comment:

Bon-Bon said...

Kara, when I worked for a realtor I went with her to clean up a house here and there before putting it on the market. One that I recall was pretty dang disgusting (and in a prominent FFX neighborhood) but after reading your saga, I'm thinking it wasn't so bad after all. How do people live in such filth? I hope you got paid handsomely for cleaning up the messes. SICK!