What do you know?

When I was a young girl, I came to know 4 things about myself that were true:

• I am dearly beloved of my family
• I understood “grown-up” things on a level way too mature for my age
• I was born with a self-determination and strength that I could call upon
• I could feel (to a very large extent) the pain and suffering of others

Realizing this at a fairly young age has largely shaped who I am today. I can look back on the many times in my life that knowing these truths has helped me in one way or another.

I remember when I was about 10 years old; overhearing a conversation my father was having with his mother about me. He was telling her about a couple of things I had done to help around the house and some things I had done for my younger brother and sisters and what a special little girl I was. He then said something I will never forget. He said in a tearful voice, “She is my beloved Kara, my beautiful girl, and I know why she was sent to me.” The word “beloved” has always stayed with me. I knew that this was a unique term of endearment. When you know you are loved so dearly, you can make it through anything that comes your way.

Growing up, I was my mother’s shadow. I loved being around her and I loved that my friends loved being around her. She was my mother but she was also fun to be with and I could tell her anything. Many times I would choose to run errands with my mother rather than be with friends. I truly enjoyed her company and I loved the talks we had. Children learn at the feet of their parents. It was with her that I realized that I understood “grown-up” things. Right after my father passed away, I was able to step in and almost co-parent with my mother because I had been with my mother so much and really did understand exactly what was going on. There were many times my mother would come to me for advice and we actually talked things through and made decisions for the family together. It didn’t seem odd to me, it seemed natural.

Now, this is kind of gross, but it’s the very first time I realized that I had self-determination. I was born with extremely dry skin and for some reason at night my legs would itch so bad that I would scratch them until they bled. We tried baths, creams, and steroids….everything. Nothing seemed to work. I was five years old and I wanted so badly not to scratch my legs anymore – they were covered in scabs (told you it was gross) and would bleed and I HATED it. One night I made up my mind that I wasn’t going to scratch my legs anymore. I said a prayer and I lay on my hands and cried ALL night because the itching was unbearable but I was determined not to scratch. The next night was the same scenario. I prayed and I lay on my hands and cried but would not scratch my legs. Every night I felt a little stronger and that I was going to break this habit and for a little five year old mind, this was remarkable. At the end of the week, my legs were almost completely healed and the itching was ALMOST gone. I realized that if I prayed and was determined to do something, I could.

I have always known that my heart is tender, especially when dealing with children or old folks. Sometimes it is very annoying because I tear up easily. The earliest memory of really feeling someone else’s pain was when I was 13. I was volunteering at a Special Olympics at the gymnastics section. I absolutely loved it. These kids were so amazing and so thrilled to be there and it was a humbling experience for me. There was a little girl – around 10 years old whose balance beam routine consisted of walking across the beam and jumping off at the end. She fell off the beam probably 8 times as she was trying to finish her walk down the beam. (The beam was not far off of the ground). Every time she would fall we would cheer her back onto the beam until she finally completed her routine and was grinning from ear to ear. I turned around just in time to see her run into her father’s arms for her congratulations. He completely broke down and I knew that he was proud of her but I also felt the pain he was feeling and I understood. I have been able to not only sympathize but also empathize with people who are in pain. I am grateful that I am able to do so because it has enabled me to help people in a way I wouldn’t be able to if I couldn’t experience for myself what they are feeling.

All of these things I learned about myself at a fairly young age. All of these things have helped me throughout my life in the various roles that I play as a Daughter, Sister and Friend. These are just my first memories of attaining this knowledge about me; I have been able to grow and expand these truths and have experienced amazing things.

I have also learned an even greater and deeper truth. That is, that everyone is given gifts that they can recognize and then cultivate so that they can help serve others. Figure out what your gifts are. You have them. I have been able to love others as I am loved. I have been able to go into dire situations and show maturity in order to handle things for people that they were not able to handle at that time. I have been able to call upon my self-determination and strength in order to show some that anything is possible and lastly, I have been able to comfort the sick or grieving because I am able to feel what they feel.

Everyone has gifts that can be used to help others. I challenge YOU to figure out what gifts you have and then go forth and serve.