I have a fish

So, this is what my blue betta fish looks like. His name is Mickey and he really is BEAUTIFUL. Those of you that can remember way back to 2000 will remember that I had my first fish ever named Ruby. (she was red) Ruby had a horrible death - I watched it actually. I'm not sure what she had but I was online in a chat room about betta fish frantically trying to figure out what I should do when she passed. Laura will remember the obituary I sent out. I flushed her and had a hard time using my "facility" for a while after. So, after that TRAUMATIC experience I waited a couple years and then got another fish. I had a BBQ and had everyone put a name in a jar and I picked out the name of my new fish. His name was Sabbath. (he was also red) Sabbath was amazing. He lived for almost 3 years!!! My nephew Robbie loved Sabbath and sometimes it looked like Sabbath was talking to him. Anyway, Sabbath's fish health started failing and it took about a week for him to finally pass. I would've just flushed him earlier but then I thought he'd get a "second wind" and come swimming back and would startle the hec out of me when I went to use my "facility". So, I waited patiently for Sabbath's little fish life to end and then I flushed him. No obituary this time but Robbie and I promptly went out and bought Mickey. I decided to go blue this time. The problem is, I just haven't bonded with Mickey and I've had him almost a year now. He's very aloof and just swims around. It's very odd because even when I feed him, he takes his food and then swims away - like he doesn't want me to see him eat or something. Once Mickey goes, I think I'm going to take a break and not have a fish for a while. I need to figure out who I am first. :-)